Emotional Connection | Intimacy - A Vital Emotional Need | Human Givens

Every single one of us is born with essential physical and emotional needs and, if we are born healthy, the innate resources to help us fulfil them. These innate needs have evolved over millions of years and are our common biological inheritance, whatever our circumstances or cultural background.

It is because these important needs and resources are incorporated into our very biology that they became known as human ‘givens’ – if these innate needs aren’t being met well enough in our lives we are vulnerable to mental health and behavioural problems.

Our 9 essential emotional needs are:
Security — safe territory and an environment which allows us to develop fully
Attention (to give and receive it) — a form of nutrition
Sense of autonomy and control — having volition to make responsible choices
Feeling part of a wider community
Emotional intimacy — to know that at least one other person accepts us totally for who we are, “warts ‘n’ all”
Privacy — opportunity to reflect and consolidate experience
Sense of status within social groupings
Sense of competence and achievement
Meaning and purpose — which come from being stretched in what we do and think.

Explore your human givens (emotional needs) further -

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